Who is Zolf?
How is he related to these two old guys?
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I am Zolf. I am from Astria. I have been assigned by the Milky Way Intelligentsia Society (MWIS) to perform research on a small body of beings which calls themselves Earth. The members of MWIS have commissioned me to gather data and report back periodically. I have sent a light probe to earth to collect initial information.
Initial Report: Based upon data collected by Light Probe #00001, it appears that the only method of crude communication is via newspapers and an electronic, wired technology known as telegraph. The only method for recording data seems to be their typewriter. Since our light probe data-gatherers are limited to using only the technology of the observed location, this will be recorded on a typewriter and stored on paper until we are able to move their technology forward.
EY1900, Light Probe #00122: The seeding of ideas works well on Earth. … Technology is progressing well in our two main areas of concern, transportation and communication. More … EY1920, Light Probe #00394: Transportation progress has continued, with the introduction of the hydroplane, fuel improvements, and the liquid fuel rocket, which was our first seeding that will lead Earthlings to interplanetary capability. More … EY1925, Light Probe #00465: Whether it be due to the World War or simply a result of our idea seeds, great strides are being made in communication. More … EY1935, Light Probe #001107: As the Earth moves closer to conflict, inventions in various areas continue to appear. … An interesting sidenote to this period is the birth of Virgil Allen Wulff in Kankakee, Illinois. More … EY1940, Light Probe #002148: As expected, the early computer emerges, simultaneously in Germany and the United States. … Amazingly, this period saw not only the birth of the computer, but also the birth of Robert Hoffman in St. Cloud, Minnesota, … More … EY1950, Light Probe #002149: As mentioned in the previous entry, no probes were successful in reaching Earth during the EY1940-EY1946 period. A manned probe was attempted in 1947, but even this met with disaster by being grounded and discovered by Earthlings near Roswell, New Mexico. … Two other significant inventions that resulted from Astrian idea seeding during this period were the first generation of modern programmed electronic computers and the transistor. More … EY1955, Light Probe #002290: During this period, a mixture of successes and failures, from the Astrian point of view, were recorded. … It was also in the EY1955 time frame that we began to seed the idea of interplanetary travel from multiple directions. We first seeded the concept of using rocketry … one of the most successful implementations by author Gene Roddenberry, who had begun writing television scripts in the 1950s. Roddenberry was stimulated with dream implantation several times, eventually leading to his creation of Star Trek in 1964 (see details in later entry). More … EY1960, Light Probe #002311: Inventions during this period have been somewhat disappointing and we feel that additional seeding will need to be accelerated to meet our 2016 arrival schedule. … During this time leading up to Hoffman's 1962 automobile adventure, … More … EY1965, Light Probe #002372: As a result of Astrian idea seeding, this period saw the advent of communications satellites, lasers, light-emitting diodes, hypertext, and the computer mouse. Although all of these were not destined to be fully applied until much later, they laid the groundwork for the important 50-Earth Year period leading up to the 2016 Astrian arrival. More … EY1970, Light Probe #002463: This period demonstrated perhaps more successes than any since our first Light Probe #000001 in EY1890. More … EY1980, Light Probe #003000: Major inventions this period include the digital camera, personal computer, laserdisc player, and cellular telephone. … During this period, Science Fiction flourished, with continuing tales of inter-galactic travel and encounters with alien species. Unfortunately, Astrian idea-seeding in this area had an unpleasant effect, … More … EY1985, Light Probe #003110: Primary inventions during this period destined to support our cause are the internet protocol and the domain name system, both necessary to the introduction of the World-Wide Web, which we have been seeding in various forms since prior to EY1970. More … EY1990, Light Probe #003190: Soon after his RV trip, Hoffman returned to Huntsville and was joined at his new company by Wayne Smith. This change in companies for Hoffman and Smith led them both to the extensive use of the Apple computer, an experience later noted as being a close parallel to Hoffman's experience with Studebaker many Earth-years earlier. … This period produced the ultimate success for many of our earlier efforts, with the first implementation of the World Wide Web, thus enabling Hoffman and Wulff to spread the Astrian message throughout Earth. More … EY1995, Light Probe #003290: This period showed no particularly significant related inventions, other than the Pentium processor and HoTMaiL. … The two more significant events that occurred during the period were the decisions of Hoffman and Wulff to take different directions in their path to ultimately retire in Florida and the production of the movie Stargate. More … EY2000, Light Probe #003410: This new millenium in Earth's history will be an opportune time to introduce the Earthlings to the idea that they're actually going to be visited by a non-Earthian species. More … EY2005, Light Probe #005000: Due to the turn of the millenium and the closeness of the final phases of the Astrian mission to Earth, the frequency of the light probes was increased during this period to at least one per Earth day. … During this period, we've kept particularly close surveillance on Wulff and Hoffman to ensure that they are ready and able to disseminate our message in a timely manner. We employed multiple dream implantations with both of them, to accomplish these goals. We guided Wulff through a series of publications, starting with Cassadaga, a metaphysical mystery, in EY1999, in which Wulff wove a tale of the mysterious disappearance of a loved one, linked with the psychic abilities of the spiritualist residents of Cassadaga, Florida. … It was in mid-EY2005 that we finally managed to turn Wulff's interests toward Science Fiction (SciFi) and the Astrian story. Since Wulff had never been interested in SciFi and had not followed any of the Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, or Stargate series, working with his brain was like writing on a clean slate relative to our message. The entire story of Aliens to Vegas was produced as a direct result of dream implantation, with minor adjustments from Hoffman, … More … EY2006, Light Probe #005526: In mid-EY2006, Wulff and Hoffman published their Aliens To Vegas in pocketbook form and initiated online sales. In addition, Al is planning a number of seminars at various universities and other locations. One of our major successes in early EY2006 was being able to provide the necessary assistance to NASA scientists and engineers to enable them to manage the launching of a probe to the ninth object in their solar system, which they call Pluto. More … EY2006, Light Probe #005637: In late-EY2006, a gathering of the International Astronomical Union in Prague officially changed the status of Pluto from a Planet to a new category Dwarf Planet. Apparently, our efforts to implant thoughts of the relative insignificance of Pluto, in preparation for its destruction in 2015, have been more effective than we anticipated. More … EY2010, Light Probe #010000 : Things are in a bit of a turmoil relative to our EY2015 plans. Virgil Wulff, a major factor in our plans, passed away unexpectedly in EY2007. We're not sure that we'll be able to begin again on the orientation of a new Earthling to replace him. Beyond that, economic crises, global warming, worldwide weather changes, and uncertainty about the predictions for EY2012 have led us to decide to put our plans on hold for a time. Between now and EY2015, we'll continue to monitor, but have major uncertainty as to whether our Earth-saving projects will still be workable as planned. More …
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Their time measurement method is based on an Earth Year, which is the time required for the body to circle it's base star which the Earthians (or Earthlings, as will call themselves in future writings) refer to as Sun. All future records will be marked by Earth Year (EY) to simplify future communication with Earthlings. This initial report was prepared in EY1890.
By doing a future projection 200 Earth Years to EY2090, we have established that their language called English will be ultimately designated as a Universally Translatable Language. Although many languages are used on Earth, most will be translatable from English by EY2090. We are writing all of these reports in the Galaxian language (of Astria), but they will be translated to English upon the advent of more suitable Earth-wide communications techniques.
We have determined that, at their current rate of development, summarizing light probe findings every 10 Earth Years will be sufficient to record and control progress leading up to the planned Astrian visit in EY2016. Multiple probes will be sent each Earth Year, but reports will only be generated every 10 Earth Years. Relative to control, we will aid in the further development of the telephone, which was recently invented, and will seed the idea of a radio.